Happy Chrismahanukwanzakah

Take that, political correctness!

Guru Grade: 7 / 10

I'll be taking off until the new year. See you in '09!

A Sweet Gift from Sony Style

This commercial is for general Sony products (a camera, PSP, Vaio laptop, Handycam camcorder.) Maybe they'll do an outdoor campaign with real jumbo candy statues. Animation by Tronic.

The name of the group responsible for the music is Nylon. Let me know if you have the song name.

I like the idea of linking delicious sweets such as chocolate and peppermint to holiday gifts and electronics, but the comparison isn't very logical. Nevertheless, some good animation. Made my mouth water!

Guru Grade: 5 / 10

UHU 5 Second Micromercials

That's right, a five-second TV commercial. The German glue company hopes to catch your attention with these quick flashes. I'm not sure how people will respond to these ultra fast blurbs. I comprehend the message because I'm watching it on a computer screen on Youtube. If I was at home and it came on TV when I wasn't really paying close attention, I think this ad would flash by without me even taking notice.

The UHU glue is shown extremely quickly on screen, after we see backwards video of cars disassembling and bridges crumbling.

This is one of the first attempts I've seen to stray away from the normal 30 second or minute long television ads. I am eager to discover whether other companies will resort to these ad flashes. Sure, you can get the message across about your glue and how it will stick within one second, but how will other products market themselves in a similar five-second time allotment?

Click here to watch another

Guru Grade: 4 / 10

Volkswagon Spacefox: Dog Fish

This commercial is pretty clever. My favorite part is when the Dog Fish chases the cat, then the cat chases the dog fish. Let me know if you know the name of the song. Sounds like Stand by Me in spanish or something

Guru Grade: 7.5 / 10

Captain Morgan: Holiday Miracle

I was watching UFC's Fight for the Troops last night and a few of these commercials came on. They're called "Holiday Miracles," but are really just things that would entertain and amaze you while you're drunk, like reappearing limes and magic redirecting spills.



I think those two are the funniest out of the four, but here are the other two:

Click to watch "Found"

Click to watch "Coaster"

Guru Grade: 6.5 / 10

Teens and Jeans: A Comparative Look at Sex in Advertising

I saw a curious correlation with these two spots. The first one is an ad for Levi's 501 jeans. I'll give some incite after the vids. Take a look.



Next up is a British public service campaign. Viewer's discretion may be advised!



Obviously the two ads are intended to produce different reactions. The first one, for the Levi's, is meant to display the excitement of a spontaneous hookup... the uncertainty, the nervous feelings, etc. The other has similar properties during parts of it, but because of the reverse chronology we see the whole picture and what can arise from such activities.

Levi's says go for it. But they don't consider the sometimes nasty side effects of a mystery bed mate. In reality, advertisement number two is much more feasible. It's not all flirting and playful Levi's removal. Some serious things can sprout from such a simple act.

I thought the PSA was another great display of the U.K.'s stellar government awareness programs. Click here to watch a brilliant campaign from a little while ago that received a lot of good feedback.

Garmin: One for All Holiday Jingle

Garmin wants to let you know that no matter who you are, their products can help you find your way. Everyone from mini-mini van drivers, scooter riders, bike peddlers, jogging nuns, hiking vikings, and boating fishermen are covered.

The song is based off of a classic Christmas tune, Carol of the Bells.

The lyrics are as follows:

One for a man, in a little van
Get there with ease, hair in the breeze
One for commuter on motor scooter
Rolls down a hill, bugs in her grill
One for the sport, where all the shorts
Are very tight, made for a bike
One for a nun, out for a run
Wrist keeps a log, what she has jogged
One for a viking out for some hiking
Find the village, he will pillage
Find what you want, find what you wish
There's even one... to find a fish
Give-a give-a give-a give-a Garmin
Find something fun for everyone
Garmin dot com, Gaarminn dot cooooooom

Guru Grade: 8 / 10

TIME's Top 10 TV Ads of 2008

Click here to watch/read

TIME has released the Top 10 Everything of 2008. Lists include albums, buzzwords, campaign moments, gadgets, books, movies, photos, and even TV ads. Right up my alley.

I'm not very fond of these lists. For one, they're ordered from 1-10. I think they should go from 10-1 to build anticipation and excitement for the #1 item. And silly TIME.com lists each item on its own separate page. Very annoying to click through. Finally, the lists I've seen aren't that great. No Dark Knight in top movies and Love Lockdown as song of the year!? Yuck. Unfortunately, the TV ad list also fails to impress.

#10. It's 3 a.m.
Not worthy. Hillary, pick up the damn phone already.

#9. Guitar Hero's dream band
Not worthy. Just because you can assemble multiple celebrities doesn't mean you should throw them all in the same spot while imitating Risky Business.

#8. Obama's infomercial
Worthy, but only for the epicness of the spot. This half hour ad was a huge purchase for the Obama campaign, which obviously saw successful results on election day.

#7. Visa's Olympic tearjerker
Worthy. I really liked this commercial. It was moving, and didn't end in the classic "USA wins" kind of way.

#6. Old Spice's meta-humor
Not worthy. Not funny.

#5. Scorsese to direct AT&T
Worthy, but maybe for a movie theater where this would have aired (not TV.)

#4. I'm a PC
Worthy, but not for #4. I would include these commercials simply for their attempt to combat Apple's dominance.

#3. Fate, according to Nike
Worthy! For #1! Loved loved loved this ad. Everything was perfectly done, especially the music.

#2. Fed Ex's horror flick
Not worthy. Funny, but not Top 10 funny.

#1. T-Mobile's NBA series
Not worthy. It was good, yeah. But it was all one idea: retired Barkley can't stop calling current b-ball phenom Dwayne Wade. The convos were predictable and not all that laughable.

Overall, it seems like they tuned in during prime time one night and randomly picked ten commercials they saw. Kind of sad. Also, I feel much better about posting Youtube videos in posts now. I used to fear that it was a cheap act to embed videos from an external source due to the unpredictability of the host as well as other factors... but if TIME can do it, I think my ass is covered. Atleast I try to give you guys the best quality; some of the videos on their list looked like they were shots taken of TV screens, a very unprofessional display.

Further Disappointment with Geico Kash Meeting

A couple of days ago I wrote a post about how Geico's caveman and gecko are washed up advertising tools and how they need to invent something else. Sure enough, here comes "Kash." He's a stack of money with googly eyes.

The name of the song is "Somebody's Watching Me" by Rockwell. Possibly the only good thing about the commercial.

I can't say I didn't expect something strange or even outrageous from Geico's next mascot, but a pile of money squeaking up on the window cleaning apparatus during a meeting was something I had never imagined. Or cared to imagine. I don't like it. Maybe future commercials will be better, if they choose to continue the life of Kash, that is.

Here's another spot about a couple eating dinner. So strange.

Guru Grade: 3.5 / 10

Lexus: December to Remember 2008

Ah yes... Because nothing says 'Merry Christmas' (er, um, *Happy Holidays) like monthly payments in the mail.

I don't get this commercial. I just don't get it. Maybe I'm too shallow to comprehend the ideas conveyed here, but it looks to me like they're trying to say that buying a Lexus is just as childish and silly as buying a video game system.

Oh look how dumb he was as a younger being, thinking that little old video game was the best thing ever! HA! Let's scoff at that lame gift. Scoff and try to pretend that this car he's getting won't be a regretful purchase once the economy completely caves and he can't afford groceries! His future self will be in just as much disbelief.

I've seen two other ads from this campaign. One involves a girl who got a pony, and the other features a boy with a big wheel. Seriously, a pony. These people are still just as spoiled as they were as lil tykes.

Guru Grade: 4.5 / 10

Burger King: Whopper Virgins

Hmm... Whopper Virgins. The campaign, formulated by Crispin Porter + Bogusky (the minds behind the famous "I'm a PC" commercials,) is an ode to classic experimentation. Take a society who has never eaten neither a Big Mac nor a Whopper, and ask them which one they like better. Sounds good... in theory. You see, such foreign countries generally do not have the same types of food as the good ole US of A. They don't drink Starbucks every morning, have hotdogs at baseball games, or drool over such delicious delicacies as fried Oreo's. It's safe to say their idea of what tastes "better" will not match up with our American ideal of scrumptiousness.

These ads have been receiving some criticism. People fear that the experiment is infringing upon the values and cultures of the countries included in the taste test. I think people should be mad (or entertained) by the obvious sexual connotation held within the name of the campaign "Whopper Virgins."

"The world's purest taste test results" will be revealed in the Whopper Virgins documentary on December 7th at 10 p.m. Eastern at http://www.whoppervirgins.com/. Who wants to bet on BK?

My preference? I havn't had either in quite a while, so I'm sad to say that I don't recall the taste of either as being overly satisfying. McDonald's fries are way better though.

Guru Grade: 6.5 / 10

GameStop: Hint or Else

I was curious to discover what was being advertised as I watched this commercial for the first time last night. The blurred out dirty magazines being pulled out from under the bed made for a hilarious scene. GameStop requests you visit www.hintorelse.com, where you can also find two other spots from the campaign. Not bad.

Guru Grade: 7.5 / 10

McDonald's: R&B Jingle

I'm not sure if this is meant to be funny or not. If it is... well it's not funny. If it isn't, why why why? One of the worst commercials I have seen from a big company in a while.

The singer is Don Lee from N2U.

Guru Grade: 1.5 / 10

Geico Caveman Needs to Evolve

Click here to watch

I've had it with the damn Geico caveman commercials. They were great in the beginning. I laughed and marveled at the simplicity of their humor. However, the time has come to drop it.

Have you seen the new caveman commercials? There's plenty of them... all playing off of how even the spot's star character is tired of being in the commercials. For example, the commercial where the caveman is playing a tennis match against Billie Jean King: Mr. Caveman is just chilling out, thinking he's beating her, only to realize that it was an advertising trap. Hilarious. But they don't stop there. I can think of at least 3 other commercials with the exact same premise: the one where he's on the Jumbotron as the number one fan, the one where he's on a beach and sees the plane fly over with the Geico banner, the one where he's walking along the coast and finds a Geico keychain in the sand using a metal detector...

Enough already! They should have got the hint when the TV series got cancelled before the end of its first season.

The Martin Agency, the creatives responsible for the (once) brilliant campaigns relating lizards and neanderthals to car insurance, have fallen into a slump. They need to step away from the cavemen and stop kicking a dead mammoth. To create more great Geico ads, The Martin Agency really has to realize the has-been status of the caveman, and reinvest their efforts in a new way.

And this goes for that little green gecko, too. How many more unfunny spots of the mock-nature-show host looking for footage do we have to endure? Quit it, anonymous wildlife enthusiast!

For the record, my favorite Geico character of all time is Bob Wehaddababyitsaboy.

Barnardo's: Break the Cycle

Kind of glad I don't live in the UK. Is this what it's really like? Yikes.

The powerful message delivered by this PSA actually warns viewers who are under 13 to not watch, and for good reason. The violence and suggested drug use are vivid and shocking. The slap to the back of the head really got me. The editing was getting ridiculous at the end, but it was necessary to convey the message properly.

Check out their website for more information: http://www.barnardos.org.uk/

Guru Grade: 8 / 10

HP: In the Air

Hewlett-Packard now has a wireless printer. Not a new technology, but the way they conveyed the idea was interesting. If you ever think about it, all those pictures, videos, songs, and data really do float through the air... Imagine if you could turn on a switch and see it all. Between cell phones conversations and wireless internet connections, there would be a lot to look at.

This commercial is clean and well produced.

Guru Grade: 6.5 / 10

If anyone is interested in the credits, please let me know. I'm considering posting the agency/directors/producers for spots from now on, but only if they're wanted.

The Simpsons Pokes Fun at Apple 1984

A funny episode. All hail Steve Mobs.

(If you're really that brain dead, here's the original commercial.)